Recent changes to Facebook reveal that Zuckerberg is not happy with simply stealing your on-line data — now he’s diving deeper into your personal life. He plans to electronically replace the Jewish Grandmother in your life with Facebook. Zuckerberg will soon be guilting you into spending more time with the people he thinks are most important: your Facebook friends.
In addition to pointing out the latest exciting things your friends are doing (and you’re not), Facebook will soon be nagging you about how you are falling short as a social media user. For example, the update below reminds you that you are a bad friend:
Other messages similarly point out how your friends are more prolific social media users than you are:
These notifications are apparently only available to a few “special’ users at this time, but we expect Facebook to roll out these new guilt messages soon to all users.
Future messages will include, “## of your friends recently changed their status to ‘in a relationship’,” and, “It has been ## days since you Facebook messaged that nice boy your uncle Benny introduced you to.”